I’ve been meaning to blog about this for many days, but have not found the time.

The Rudd government is planning (and already doing trials) for an internet blacklist. A mandatory filter, at ISP levels, that will censor whatever the government damn well thinks is illegal or harmful to children.

They had also tried to sell this plan with an option to ‘opt-out’ of this blacklist.

There are two sets of blacklists. One that blocks content that would be deemed harmful to children, and the other, the one you can’t opt-out of, blocks content deemed illegal by the government.

ISPs are up in arms about this, not only because of cost, but it would also severely cripple our internet speeds.

Tax-payers should bloody well be up in arms, too. This filter is currently looking to cost $125.8 million to implement!

Once set up, this filter is out of the hands of Joe Citizen, the government will then be able to add sites to the blacklist. This is in a similar fashion to the Chinese firewall, that has basically further oppressed it’s people.

What does this all mean?

Drugs are illegal - therefore, no school research, no research for a drug user to check up on some facts to avoid overdosing, and it has the potential to accidently block drug awareness and help websites.

And dissidence? Well, that would be considered illegal in the eyes of the internet filter. It will all start with extremist sites, then it will lead to anything that remotely goes against government policy.

Euthanasia will no longer be something we can read about, too.

P2P networks? Nope.

Violent games? May be on the agenda.

Buying exported video games that are refused classification, what will happen then?

If I suddenly post ALLAH AKBAR! Will this site be blocked to Australians? Or any other forum? Will we be pushed to censoring ourselves so that our favourite message boards suddenly don’t appear anymore?

Stephen Conroy - you’re a fucking wanker.

So… I thought John Howard was bad, I thought he was running this country into the ground (which he was, let’s face it - privatising Telstra, one of our greatest commodities, the free trade agreement with the USA, the war with Iraq and so forth)… Then comes along plucky Kevin Rudd. I thought, “great! New leadership and better broadband!”

But then he comes out swinging with this “alcopop” tax hike of, wait for it, 70%. Apparently this is to curb our nation’s love of binge drinking…

You know, I agree, binge drinking is a problem - especially among twenty-somethings, and even to a point, the under-aged. But honestly, this smells like a revenue scheme, Mr. Rudd.

Senators are starting to err and umm at passing this tax hike as legislation, and the majority of people (according to Ninemsn’s new poll) are saying no. This is a band aid solution, among other things, and it will only get younger people to either mix their own (stronger) drinks, or find alternatives. (i.e. party drugs)

One crazy senator is even mentioning a volumetric tax… WTF? Taxing based on alcohol content? You must be kidding, surely!

Drinking is expensive as is, if you really want to stop problem drinking, then use tax money to fund health programs.

It seems that my post, Manson and Hitler has struck a chord.

Following is a comment I didn’t approve, mainly to not let this website turn into flamer’s paradise.

“I came across this drivel by accident and you are the most amazing goose I have come across. I see that no one has commented on your blog, suicide and getting wrecked, no life other than computer games, and now an assanine comment “Columbine Massacre like that was hell?” Yes to a lot of people it was and still is! Grow up and get a life, a lot of your generation had theirs ended on that terrible day. Twelve of your peers and a teacher died on that day. That equals hell for thirteen families and their friends! Manson had nothing to do with Colombine but your statements belie your ignorance, stupidity and immaturity. Get a life or shut up, or just fade away and never rise again.”

To which my reply was:

“Wow, did you even read that post properly? And I quote, “Yes, Marilyn Manson has been blamed for teenage suicides, and even labelled as one of the reasons for the Columbine Massacre (like what the Hell?).”

Take care.”

You know you’ve hit it big when some jackass decides to flame you.

I laughed so very, very hard.

The other day, as I got home from the local shopping centre, one of my neighbours spotted me.

I was wearing a Marilyn Manson t-shirt, and she comes up to me and asks, “You don’t like Marilyn Manson, do you?” - to which I thought, “No, I just wear this t-shirt for the Hell of it”. Of course I like Marilyn Manson, why else would I be wearing a t-shirt adorned with his image?

I replied that yes, I do like Marilyn Manson, and that despite his looks and shock rock appearance, he is quite an intelligent individual. “So was Hitler”, was her reply. I was dumbfounded.

How can you compare the two? Did I miss something? Had Marilyn Manson climbed the political ranks and started annexing neighbouring countries?

Yes, Marilyn Manson has been blamed for teenage suicides, and even labelled as one of the reasons for the Columbine Massacre (like what the Hell?). No, Marilyn Manson is not the reason for any of that, he is a symbol of dissidence among my generation - his very name is synonymous with America’s obsession with guns, violence and sex.

The band’s music is a mockery of those ideals, and to that I say, keep it up!

Addiction is a dirty, nasty thing.

This is by no means some sort of self-righteous sermon, nor is it an act of martyrdom. These are just the thoughts, the urges, and the feelings that I’m experiencing now.

I was an addict up until a point in early 2007 when I said that enough was enough. I’m not 100% clean, I still drink (my only vice) but not to the point of intoxication.

The past couple of weeks, if not longer, I have been wanting, almost aching, to get really fucked up. Doesn’t matter with what, anything, just to be completely wasted. So instead I’m forced to find other things to keep me amused and occupied, but honestly? It’s hard, really hard.

How can you keep yourself occupied when you’re constantly thinking, “if I take this I can get really smashed” - I’m noticing things that could get me really wasted. You know, like in The Bourne Identity when Matt Damon’s character talks about how the first thing he does when he enters a room, is look for the exits. I look for things to get me hammered.

I’ve avoided temptation for the time being, but it’s hard. I just want the urge to go away - I’ve been better without addiction in my life, I want the monkey to get off my fucking back!

Browsing AusGamers as I usually do every day or so, I came across this article.

Now, seriously. Has someone polluted the government’s drinking water with some kind of psychoactive chemical? Are these politicians in their right minds? Who the hell, in a democracy, would filter the internet and ban websites?

So you say, “it’s not so bad, surely only illegal things will be banned.” Wrong. Not only has the government kept its list secret, but it has previously stated that the filter would deny access to R, X and Refused Classification websites.

Amnesty International is currently running a campaign against, what it calls, the Great Firewall of China. This firewall is much like the one that the current Australian government is seeking. Simply, this is an infringement of our human rights, and freedom of speech.

For the full details, check out the Electronic Frontiers Australia website - it goes into more detail about the proposed filtering, and has links to take action.

And no. This isn’t about porn. =P

So I’m writing this because I’m unable to fall asleep, and because there’s a lot on my mind of late.

TAFE… Well, that’s a constant issue, isn’t it? I have lost so much of my motivation that I’m seriously contemplating withdrawing for this year, and then maybe trying again next year. I’ve let myself get so behind. I feel incredibly intimidated even just setting foot on campus.

My personal life. Ha! That’s coming along just dandy… I used the word “dandy” so I’m obviously not being honest. To be honest, I would say that my personal life makes my chest tighten, and my head throb.

I honestly can not find any respite at the moment. Everywhere I go there’s a fucking issue that comes up and absolutely does my head in.

So I’m forced to sleep over 12 hours a day… Okay, maybe not forced, but that’s what I’m doing. I struggle to get out of bed even to just grab something to eat or drink. It’s funny I say that while I’m currently out of bed, on the computer. What a fucking contradiction!

And I think I’m sabotaging one of the best relationships I have. I can see this, yet I can’t stop myself. *shakes head* I’m ready to use more explicit language.

I woke in the middle of the afternoon, hazy in the recollection that someone had been knocking at my door. So to the front door I stumbled, with sleep still encrusted in my eyes.

Opening the door, I peeked outside - lo and behold, I spot a rather large package on my veranda, sitting under the lawn chair. I grinned as it dawned on me, this was a package from Amazon.

Gleefully I darted out to seize my precious cargo, and started tearing into it like a 7 year old on their birthday. Inside, well, inside was the holy grail of gaming. Inside was my copy of Grand Theft Auto IV!

Not just any copy, but the special edition. Now, I’ve bought some pretty shit “special editions” where you barely get jack all - but Rockstar definitely went all out with this one.

Within I found a metallic licence plate for a car that reads “GTA1V”, a set of keys and a metal safety deposit box with “Grand Theft Auto IV” embossed on it. Opening it I was treated to the actual game, a soundtrack, duffel bag, and a rather awesome cloth, hard cover art book. Awesome.

Pre-release (and even post-release) there were rumours abound. American copies will be region locked (single player isn’t, yet to try multi player) for both the PS3 and 360, game locks up on 60GB PS3s (reportedly on the 360 as well) and so forth. It had me worried, because I’m a sucker. But it all seems fine for now. For anyone with problems, keep your eyes on Kotaku as they are investigating the problem (you may have to go through a few pages).

Anyway, I could go on about this game like a raving loon. I think I’ll just go back to playing it.

Goodnight everyone, thanks for reading!

Another day goes by and I don’t attend TAFE…

I’ve made this problem into a monster, you see. One that I seemingly can’t defeat, or can I? After all, it’s a by-product of my fear, so surely it’s as easy to defeat with a solemn will?

If only it were that easy.. If only it were so easy to get out of bed, rather than roll over and go back to sleep. I’d rather hide from the day than face.

Lisa asked me today if I had been thinking of hurting myself, and yes, I have been thinking along those lines. I have wanted to hurt myself so that at least, albeit superficially, I can cope with the stress I’ve put on myself. And I am struggling.. I’m struggling with TAFE and I’m struggling with life.

You promised me the world, but all I got was cheap promises.

You promised me high definition gaming, but I can’t even play with my friends of yesteryear.

I hate you, Sony.

I’m an owner of a 60GB PlayStation 3, and while it is great for playing PS3 games (which I love), it’s pretty crap for PS2 games. You see, in an effort to cut costs (like you really needed the extra money, Sony) the European and Australian PS3 was shipped without the Emotion Engine - the PS2 processor.

In it’s place, the PS3 would emulate the PS2 using its software. All great in theory, but now that they’ve discontinued the 60GB PS3 for the non-emulating 40GB version, many PlayStation 2 games are left as incompatible.

I noticed this when I tried loading up Puzzle Quest on the PS3 - there were so many errors and glitches. One of which would have sent an epileptic into a seizure. Regardless, it’s unplayable, and unacceptable.

For shame Sony!

Bring back support for software emulation (now that you’ve denied us the Emotion Engine), add new PS2 titles to the list of compatible titles, and fix those that don’t run so well.

Why can’t I just use my PS2? Ha! My second PS2 has broken down completely and won’t load anything. Sony never believe in quality assurance.