Yesterday, with foolish resolve, I decided to quit smoking.

Again.

For the fourth time.

So today, I’m reconsidering my choice. Fat lot of good that’ll do as I’m broke, so even if I decide to have a few more cigarettes, I won’t be able to buy them!

I started smoking again because I missed the ‘feel’ of it, you know, that sensation as you take a drag?

To be frank, my reasons for not smoking are purely monetary ones. I owe my parents a bit of money, and rather than paying it off steadily, I’m increasing it. It could be worse, right? Atleast I’m not paying interest. But that’s not the point - I feel guilty, not only in asking them for more, but also just in the knowledge that I owe them.

While I obviously don’t want cancer and the other lovely diseases and ills brought on by smoking, I can’t help but ask myself why.

Why quit for the money, and not for my health?

Why quit at all?

And I just don’t know.

Most importantly, a year down the track, will I be smoking again?

We shall see.

Last night I was browsing the wonderful forums of PCPP, and I came across a post entitled, “We’re all going to die an awesome black hole death!”.

Naturally, my curiosity was piqued. Opening the post, I read about the Large Hadron Collider that was built under the Swiss-France border. I suggest you check out the YouTube links for an awesome documentary.

What it does, from my understanding, is generate the events right after the Big Bang, in hopes of understanding the question of how we came to be. For instance, what creates mass? Energy and mass are one in the same, but what gives mass it’s weight? Why do the elements clump together and form something solid?

That’s one of the questions they hope to answer.

This Large Hadron Collider is massive! It’s 100 metres underground, in a 27km round facility.

It’s set to go live on the 10th of September, and a lot of people are worried that we’re simply going to vanish from existence. Yes, this LHC can create a black hole, but according to the scientists there’s only a very small chance of that - furthermore, if a black hole were created, it’d vanish as soon as it came to existance.

This is a very exciting time, I believe. If the experiment is a success, if the scientists are able to learn anything - as humankind, what will we be able to achieve because of it?

Okay… I think I’m back… Hopefully the server gods won’t look down at me disfavourably again, and everything will go smoothly.

Sorry for the posts that were lost, and the comments. I’ll try to backup a lot more often, from now on.

Man, it’s been a headache though. One day, everything was fine - the next, the server throws a hissy fit followed by Wordpress. Everything stops working regardless of my (albeit novice) tinkering. The guys at MD had to do a clean re-install of Wordpress, hence the loss of posts. I appreciate all of the help they offered, though - so if you want to buy a domain or hosting, go with these guys!

But you know what? There were still problems. So I deleted Wordpress, re-installed, and nothing. Somehow, and I don’t know how, everything is fine again.

Nothing much has been happening, unfortunately. Apart from a World of Warcraft addiction… I can see how they get so many subscribers. It’s definitely e-heroin. I call dibs on ‘World of Warcrack’!

I also had an appointment with the sleep specialist I was seeing, and to quote him I have, “very severe, severe, severe, sleep apnoea”. The CPAP machine is working wonders, though. I’m sleeping throughout the night with a relatively stable sleep pattern. I’m feeling energetic, so much so that I’ve started working out again (need to shed some weight). It’s great.

Now, sleep, I think.

Good night all.