Where to begin…?

Xmas Eve

Had Xmas dinner with my parents. They celebrate Xmas Eve rather than Xmas Day, which I believe is a European, or at the very least, a Portuguese thing.

Dinner was nice though, and spending time with my parents was awesome. Despite living in close proximity, I actually spend more time alone, than with my parents.

We swapped presents around midnight, and I ended up getting a little black dragon chest, and a very awesome graphics tablet. So now I can sit on the PC and actually draw, rather than jerking around with the mouse.

Here’s the test image I created… And yes, it’s supposed to look like that. =P

Boxing Day

I spent Boxing Day with Lisa and her family, did the whole present thing, and just enjoyed catching up with them all. I really felt their absence this Xmas, with my parents, the whole affair is quiet and not very chaotic. With Lisa and the family, there’s noise, cheer, and Xmas wrapping fights. I got a selection of whiskey from Debbie and the family, a mug from Dwain to drink said whiskey, and a videogame from Lisa.

Sunday

On Sunday I headed over to the movies with a friend, Em. We had a bit of a chat and went to see “The Day the Earth Stood Still”. I’m of two minds about this movie… Very awesome concept (it’ll sound cliche, but give it a chance), but the ending was really weak.

They have either planned on making sequels, or the screenplay writer decided to go home early near the end of the script.

It was enjoyable though.

Monday

Heh… Monday just rocked.

I wake up early in the afternoon after a long night of PC gaming, and whiskey appreciation, to find no one at home at my parents. Odd. I give mum call, no answer. She calls back soon after, and I’m talking to her while she is as high as a kite!

All of a sudden, a paramedic is talking to me. Mum has had a fall, she’s a bit off her face from painkillers and at the Austin. Great.

I quickly got dressed, and headed off to the Austin hospital.

I get to emergency and they let me in to see her. Thankfully she’s no longer off her face (although it was very amusing) so I can find out what happened. This was around two in the afternoon.

The nurse treating her was absolutely attrocious. Firstly, she doesn’t seem like a very nice person. Very caustic in attitude, and a little fake. I hardly saw the nurse attend to mum, even as she was frantically buzzing away to be helped to go to the toilet.

Three hours pass, I have only seen the nurse attend to mum once.

I understand that they have a busy work life, but this nurse was attending her other patients a hell of a lot more frequently than mum.

Around 5pm (after having been there since 11:30am), mum is finally taken for an x-ray. Thankfully, neither her leg or hip is broken, but she is still in tremendous pain. Mum is given a walking frame, told to wait in the waiting room for the doctor to speak to her, and she would be free to leave.

Mum hasn’t eaten, and I had only had some cereal. So I head off to the selection of cafes, get something to eat and drink for the two of us and make my way back. As I’m approaching the waiting room, I can hear this pained kind of moan. Strange, I thought. Mum comes into view, she’s sitting down and hunched over the walking frame. That moan was coming from her.

She is as pale as a ghost, and visibly trembling. I ask her what’s wrong, and I get told that she just feels “sick” and really tired. Mum really didn’t look good. So I go to talk to the triage nurse, she tells me that she’ll inform Irene, the nurse who “treated” mum.

She doesn’t come, and mum just keeps looking worse.

After a while, I notice the physio who had been assigned to mum. I wonder over to her, she looks at me in a concerned manner and asks what’s wrong. I tell her about mum, and she informs me that she’ll get the nurse.

This time, and I bet because she was probably dragged away, Irene comes to attend to mum. Mum informs her about how she’s feeling, as best as she can, and mentions that it feels like her blood pressure is playing up. The nurse tries to convince mum that it’s nothing, it’s all in her head and that she should go home.

I go outside to give dad a call, see if he can pick mum up (he was on a fishing trip), I try not to alarm him so I remained pretty vague.

As I enter the waiting room, mum is being attended to by an intern. Her blood pressure had dropped.

I made a point of complaining to the intern about the nurse.

Mum was re-admitted for another couple of hours, and the nurse only came to see her as mum was leaving and she still insisted that it was only in mums head.

We finally left around 8:50pm.

Nicole and Anthony came past to see how things were around 9:30pm, and I had a couple of drinks with Nicole. After they left, I spoke to Lisa for an hour, and headed off to bed. It was one of those days I just wanted to sleep away.

Mum’s fine though, thankfully she didn’t hit her head when she fell, no broken bones - just a torn muscle and a lot of pain.

Ten days until Xmas eve..

I often wonder how this event (one which has happened in many religions before the establishment of christianity) became such a huge commercial phenomena. Every year we all go out in droves looking for that perfect present to give someone.

I remember reading about how, during World War I, the Germans initiated an unofficial cease fire with the British to sing carols, and have a good time.

Imagine how brave, or incredibly stupid, you’d have to be to stick your head out of the trench, and start singing ‘O Tannenbaum’. Insane.

To me, Xmas holds no religious significance. And I really only celebrate it because my friends and family do too. Don’t get me wrong, I generally have a good time. I enjoy spending time with friends and family, giving each other gifts, eating, drinking and just having a good time.

But in the next one hundred, or even one thousand years, how will this event be viewed?

However, I’m going to try and not come across as a grump this Xmas. Xmas and I have a lot of bad blood, and it’s hard to ignore the memories, or rather the rememberance of feelings, that past Xmas’ have brought. Most people say that I live in the past, and maybe I do, but if we don’t correct the errors of days gone by, then how will we stop them from repeating in the future?

If I don’t post again before Xmas, I hope you all have a fun and safe Xmas.

Recently, my grandmother passed away. I’m not too sure about the cause of her death, but she was around her late 90’s.

Dad got to see her before she died, thankfully. Whether this was good for him, we’ll have to wait and see. I feel for my parents.

I know that dad is hurting, and I also know that he won’t talk about it. Being that way myself, it can make you feel all sorts of things, one of which is alone. I’m not too sure about what to do, but I’ll be glad when he’s back from Portugal.

Mum is hurting too, she lost her own mother quiet young due to cancer. So dad’s mum was, in essence, a mother to both my parents.

And me.. Well, I feel numb about it all. My grandmother was such a nice person, caring and quite with it even in her old age. She went through a lot in her years - she gave birth to nine children, had a son go missing for 20 years, bury a daughter and husband. The things she went through would make anyone crack, but she kept on going.

I feel like, with most of my relatives, I never really got to know her, but it doesn’t mean I won’t miss her.

I had been frantically painting over the last few weeks so I could have new works to show at the Old Fire Station Cafe Gallery, in Preston. Which was the main reason for not posting.

It went well, and there was a fair amount of people there.

Anthony and Nicole came over before the opening night was to begin, but I wasn’t very talkative as I was stressing out about the Exhibition. Sorry guys! Nicole took some photos of Jazz, and the Exhibition. I’ll post some photos when I get copies.

So yes, I was stressing. I was stressing about the people that would be there, or wouldn’t be there; I was stressing about the speech; and I was just stressing in general! Haha.

Had dinner there, which I highly recommend, as the Old Fire Station’s food is quite palatable - actually, it’s damn nice. Sunk a couple of bourbons, which didn’t help the nerves at all.

Angie and Jennifer showed up not long after the night had started, which was good as I was unsure whether they would attend.

Unfortunately, Lisa and Debbie couldn’t attend. It would’ve been good to see them, as I haven’t done so in some time. But it’s understandable given that they would’ve been up to their arm pits in small children.

Eventually I started calming down, and by the time I had to give a small speech I was eager to get it over and done with.

That was such a huge weight off my shoulders - I felt so much better after the speech was done, then I started enjoying the night for what it was.

Thank you to all who showed up!

I did have some photos of my new works, but it seems that the digital camera has malfunctioned, and I can’t even access it, let alone copy files over. Ugh.

Jazz (my cat) was speyed today, but thankfully, she is home now and it’s quite hilarious - you know, in that ‘poor dear’ kind of way.

She’s wearing an Elizabethan collar to prevent her from licking, or chewing her stitches.

It’s sad watching her getting stuck on things (like on the edge of the door frame) because she’s not used to the collar. She forces herself forward for a second, then just stands there slightly confused. So you kind of have to guide her past whatever is blocking her. You can’t help but laugh to yourself.

She is doing remarkably well, though. My parents’ cat, in comparison, seemed to have suffered a psychotic break from her desexing. She would hiss and growl if you tried to get near her, wobbled everywhere - it was terrible.

Jazz on the other hand seems incredibly perky. First thing she did was explore the lounge room to make sure that she was actually home.

I fed her a small meal, and gave her some water, now she’s just sitting on the floor watching me as I type - like that is interesting.

Today was hell for me, though. I stressed so much about her well-being when she was away at the vet. You know that funny thing called death? Yeah, I was worried that I would never see her again. And the unit seemed very empty.

I’m glad that she’s back.

Thursday was mum’s graduation (an Art Degree), and unfortunately she could only invite two people - so naturally she invited dad and I.

Due to a faulty wrist-watch, we arrived a little late to the graduation ceremony. It seems dad’s watch was running slow, so while we thought that we had plenty of time, we actually didn’t.

I think the venue was called the Dallas Brooks House, basically it was a large auditorium with three tiers (or levels) and it must have been two-thirds packed. The reason being because it was not only the class graduation, but graduation for students from completely different fields.

Along with the art class, there were hospitality students, builders, social workers and so forth - the ground floor mostly seated students.

The ceremony had some speakers, then the degrees were handed out to the students. I was so proud of mum, and if I had not been taking a picture of her receiving the award, I would’ve whooped as loud as possible!

The ceremony itself took around an hour and a half, and afterwards we all went to the ground floor for finger food.

The scene was chaotic, it seemed everyone got out of all three levels at the same time - it was shoulder to shoulder. I didn’t like that at all.

Overall though, it was good. Dad and I were there to support mum, and I don’t think we did a bad job of it. Mum looked the part in her graduation gown, and degree in hand.

Good on you, mum! Congratulations. =)

So I’m writing this because I’m unable to fall asleep, and because there’s a lot on my mind of late.

TAFE… Well, that’s a constant issue, isn’t it? I have lost so much of my motivation that I’m seriously contemplating withdrawing for this year, and then maybe trying again next year. I’ve let myself get so behind. I feel incredibly intimidated even just setting foot on campus.

My personal life. Ha! That’s coming along just dandy… I used the word “dandy” so I’m obviously not being honest. To be honest, I would say that my personal life makes my chest tighten, and my head throb.

I honestly can not find any respite at the moment. Everywhere I go there’s a fucking issue that comes up and absolutely does my head in.

So I’m forced to sleep over 12 hours a day… Okay, maybe not forced, but that’s what I’m doing. I struggle to get out of bed even to just grab something to eat or drink. It’s funny I say that while I’m currently out of bed, on the computer. What a fucking contradiction!

And I think I’m sabotaging one of the best relationships I have. I can see this, yet I can’t stop myself. *shakes head* I’m ready to use more explicit language.

Yesterday I was one of many who celebrated Lisa’s 21st birthday, and by many, I mean many! Lisa had quite the turn out.

It was good to see Lisa smiling and happy, and it was good to see her family too.

Anthony and Nicole were there, which added even more familiarity. We sat, ate and drank until we couldn’t any more. I kept watching Lisa fly around like a social butterfly, talking to people and occasionally coming back to talk to my folks and I. Then back to being a social butterfly. Man, she must’ve been tired after the party. =)

Eat, drink and be merry, so they say - and that’s exactly what everyone did. There was more than plenty of delicious food. From finger food to proper meals and desserts.

It was a good night, and Lisa seemed to like what I gave her - whether it was practical, I don’t know, but I hope she likes her presents.

Happy birthday, Lisa.

Friday night was our group exhibition *cough*shameless plug*cough*, and yes, I am going to keep plugging it until the end of the exhibition, which is April 30. =)

But I digress, Friday night - it was both nerve wracking and exciting. I haven’t exhibited anything since 2006, I believe. So it was good showcasing some unseen pieces. During the night I was incredibly nervous, I sat in my chair, frowning at my food while munching it down. And my speech, well, it was minimalist. lol

I’m an incredibly bad speaker, and I squirm whenever I’m the centre of attention - well, unless it’s intimately, then I love it. But anyway…

I would say the night was successful, people enjoyed themselves, the paintings were incredible and proved to be a talking point - and we, the Three Palettes, enjoyed ourselves. Unfortunately Lisa and her family couldn’t attend, which was a bit of a let down, but I guess it’s my own fault for sending out all of my invitations last minute (read: a couple of days before the event).

I want to thank all of my friends who attended the exhibition, it meant a lot to have them there.

I’ll be adding some content to the gallery page, specifically the digital art gallery. A lot of that work was done in a stage of my life when I thought fractal images rocked my socks, the inner tripper in me still thinks that though. Keep your eyes peeled, and enjoy!

Today, I got to see how the paintings are set up at gallery, and all in all, it’s looking pretty good. I’m nervous, but I think I feel a tinge of excitement too. It’ll be good to show off some of the work that hasn’t been seen yet.

So yes, I helped set up… You know, by standing around going “that looks good” and generally not being all that helpful really. My poor dad was doing the bulk of the work. We spent a bit of time there, though.

I met Maria, who is showing her work in “The Three Palettes” exhibition coming this April 4th, at the Old Fire Station Cafe Gallery in Preston. *cough*shameless plug*cough* She’s pretty cool, a bit of a character and quite talented. I didn’t know what to expect from her work, but I was impressed.

Knowing that this exhibition is coming up, it’s giving me the drive to paint - but all that I’m producing feels below par.