Yesterday, with foolish resolve, I decided to quit smoking.

Again.

For the fourth time.

So today, I’m reconsidering my choice. Fat lot of good that’ll do as I’m broke, so even if I decide to have a few more cigarettes, I won’t be able to buy them!

I started smoking again because I missed the ‘feel’ of it, you know, that sensation as you take a drag?

To be frank, my reasons for not smoking are purely monetary ones. I owe my parents a bit of money, and rather than paying it off steadily, I’m increasing it. It could be worse, right? Atleast I’m not paying interest. But that’s not the point - I feel guilty, not only in asking them for more, but also just in the knowledge that I owe them.

While I obviously don’t want cancer and the other lovely diseases and ills brought on by smoking, I can’t help but ask myself why.

Why quit for the money, and not for my health?

Why quit at all?

And I just don’t know.

Most importantly, a year down the track, will I be smoking again?

We shall see.